Tahoe this weekend!

This really doesnt have anything to do with the title, so ill just go into it later.

Im trying to learn how to skateboard... really only because of this one boy. At first i thought he was a loser but now hes REALLY growing on me!

He has this longish hair and cute little eyes... im not sure how to explain him

But it feels like he doesnt like me anymore. Maybe im trying to hard. I need to make him jealous!!!!

So heres my plan, im just about to go to Tahoe this weekend since its a 4 day one. And, lucky me theres going to be another boy thats just a year or two older then me. So ill get a couple of pictures of me and him being very close, and maybe he'll try a little harder like he used to.

:( It makes me so sad becuase i used to get so much attention and cheesy compliments that were so bad they were adorable:)

But i guess thats the way it is so...

I started making these cool Youtube videos, and im going to make some cool make-up tutorial videos. I hope i get at least a couple subscribers!!!

Anyway i got to get in the car and start skiin' so ill blog later!

Bye!

Boring Saturday

Hii everyone! I know i dont have any followers or anything but ill address my imaginery ones as 'everyone' =]

I really have nothing to do today except hope that someone calls and wants to take me to the mall to buy all the things that i cant afford that are in my new Seventeen catalog.

Its the best magazine ever except they have alot of the same stuff in it every month which bothers me.

Im wondering if i should send them a message to complain. I do that alot.

So im getting a new phone and i want one with a keyboard but one that doesnt have eetsy bitsy keys that are impossible. Any idea?

So anyways, theres this boy that likes me (the one in my profile picture) and i have no idea what to do about him. I think i like him but ive gotten so much shit about Kenny and i dont want to go through all of that again! I dont know if im into secret relationships, because with Brody it didnt turn out to well.

Hes pretty cute, i think. Haha!

Right now im about to help my mom ice some cookies, so i shall blog again later!

CIAO BELLA! (It sounds good, so ill say it!)

long time...WHOOPS!

gee i TOTALLY forgot about this blog... ahahaha im so not going to anymore!
let me update you:
-went through exactly [1] boyfriend.
-more cuts...
=[
-1 new friend :))

so this new boyfriend i have is named (er i mean HAD) Kenny welsh... hes not a good kid, but i guess i just fall for the bad ones huh... but so at first i had been hearing rumors about him having this crush on me, and hes in my P.E class, and so one day we were about to run the mile, and it was FREEZING out, like 34 degrees! so we were flirting around and all that good stuff, and he asked me if he could wear my jacket. i knew he just wanted me to wear his, so i went along with it. it made me laugh so hard watching him in a tight girls jacket! he did so many things to make me laugh, and so the day in the hallway when he asked me out, i said yes :) our relationship lasted from THURSDAY to the following MONDAY... we broke up for some reasons im not going to post. i have a feeling he used me, though, if that clarifies anything better.

anyway, moving on to my second topic...
lately ive been questioning my mental healthXD it prolly sounds lame, but its true. maybe im bi-polar? sometimes im ectastically bouncing off the walls in happyness, and then ill be crying all night, my face looking like a puffer fish... and fresh scars on my wrists. i hate it. i really do, most of the time though i wish i could die. i want to kill my self but i dont have the guts. it seems as if the whole school hates me, and i cant fix anything. i get those looks in the hall, like 'why are you here? nobody wants you..' and it HURTS! really bad.
but ill stop whining...
i got this new friend though! her name is stephanie and shes so nice and always happy! shes younger them me though, but i dont care. shes almost the nicest person i have met, not counting Shelly.
anyway, gotta go!

<3,
girly

tuesday the thirteenth!!!

today was rainy wet and cold!!!! my huge foofy jacket did a pretty good job of keepin me warm, but i was still somehow soaked by lunchtime. This jacket happens to have a very foofy hood, and so rachel liked laughing with me about how me and alaina looked like little eskimos, and then she came up to me and grabbed my hood, grabbing it and throwing it over my head, her nails scratching my nose and that little moustache area below your nose and above your mouth. i like this font better. haha. anyway, i have a giant cut now, and i am constantly putting antibiotics on it. poor me.... lol!

so my whole story about brody is really long so ill give you bits and pieces of the story as i post....

we texted more then normal people did, and i assumed we were in a relationship, considering the fact he mentioned that he loved me. so after i went to summer camp, we had a plan to hang out alot after, so wehn i got back, i called him. no answer, emailed him, no asnwer, and i got totally crazy, leaving him notes and all that good stuff. he thought i was a creepy stalker and blocked me from everything. which did not do my body and soul well.

----enough of that for now...

so im trying to get over him, because hes a big fat meany jerk!!! i was played!!!! 3 TIMES!!!makes me feel pretty dumb.

im devolping a crush on this kid...gio, [giovanni] and i think i really like him <3,>:(

i was thinking about gio this evening, and then i sighed, and i felt this little jab in my chest as i was inhaling. maybe it was a little reminder of how much it hurt the last time i fell in love. but i stupid things like that, and im going to take the chance for him. if he can prove that hes true, no player, then maybe ill let myself fall.

nighty night..... <3>

kaaaaaaaaaati!!!!

First of All...

So this blog is to just talk about what happens in my not-too-exciting life. :) well, it might be exciting to some, but i mean, who knows. Like i care.

Im that girl who smiles and says yeah yeah yeah everythings aigghhhtt!!!!

but its not!!!

-lost my best and oldest friend(s)

-was played by a boy who i was in love with

-has now just alright friends now who probably will never love me as much as my old ones

-parents hate me, make gay rules

-dad lost his job. were poor, helpless HOBOS!!!!! >:( (umm well not really haha)

so anyways, ill go through the list n xplain.

My best freind shelly and shea thought i was changing...and basically just got rid of me. Thats about it. Sure didnt make me feel to good...

so the worst part of that horrible summer, was being played by brody. we had a good realtinship and i loved him soo muchh... then suddenly he ignored me and called me names. then a couple months later got played again, and then one more time, and then he left me again thats how it is again. he hurt me so bad i cant even explain it.... he was my first kiss and everything... we took everything too slow in my opinion n i kinda want to finish waht we started but whatever i guess... he moved before sckool started so i dont ahve to go to school every day and face seeing him. i guess its a good thing, or bad because i miss him even though i hate him. hmm.... maybe its because... they say the first time you fall in love the feeling never goes away. blah blah blah1!!! bullshit. well maybe not so much. idk hahaha

anyway, enough about my weird emotional shit.

my parents make stupid rules about BEDTIMES. they read too much.

that is all. :)

and my dad lost his job. no more shopping for me i guess.... CRY!!!!!!!

---------

i thought i would explain a little bit about my life. heres what happened today:

-woke up. was going to take a shower. too lazy.

-went to school. took funny pictures and wondered what brody was doing...

-lunch. detention..... how fun.

-rest of the day was boring. pestered my mom to go shopping for new shingaurds...

thats it.

gotta go. blog more tomarrow.

luv you!!!!!!!